Day 14. Willpower is the realization that you are the only one standing in your way.

I borrowed a Kundalini yoga DVD recently from a friend and wonderful yoga teacher, Martha McAlpine, and used it this morning for practice.  Kundalini yoga uses mantra, rapid breath and repetitive movements to raise dormant energy from the base of the spine to the crown of the head and create energy flow in the body.

I have practiced Kundalini yoga before and have always felt that one of the most amazing benefits of the practice is the cultivation of will.  The movements may seem simple enough, but when you are flapping your arms for 3 minutes as fast as you can, about half way through you want to quit, it's that simple.  It's tough.  Muscles start to burn.  Tension increases.  We ask ourselves, "why the hell am I doing this again?"

This morning during practice I felt one of those familiar moments...in one of the pose sets my shoulders started to burn from the work and I wanted to quit.  I also noticed that I got hungry, exhausted, and bored all at once -- my body was coming up with any excuse to stop.  I understood what was happening and I kept going, the discomfort became louder and still I pushed on.  A few more flaps and I was there, I broke through.  No longer was I just flapping, but flying.  Still I felt sensation in my shoulders and rumbling in my belly, still I felt the quit, but I felt something stronger urging me onward.  My whole being, longing for evolution, growth and change, said, "c'mon, we can do this, let's just keep going."

When we meet that wall, that quit, that boundary that we dare not cross we also meet our greatest opportunity for growth and our greatest chance to step from our familiar comforts to venture off in exploration.  Do you think it's easy for a germinating flower seed to push through the cold, wet, dark soil day after day, wondering when it will end?  Well that flower thinks nothing of it, because it feels the glow of the sun above, and it knows if it can just push a little further...ahhhh, sunlight.

Each time you cross a boundary you remove it from your experience in the world.  That boundary will no longer exist and you will assimilate that new territory into your current experience of life.  Do this often enough and you will realize that boundaries exist only in your mind.  Life is whole, complete, unbroken, and you can experience it that way if you choose to.  This reminds me of a quote I read a few years ago, "Hint: the cage is not locked."

Willpower is the realization that you are the only one standing in your way.